Father & daughter relationships. I can remember holding your face in my hands and kissing your cheek dad. I can remember the emptiness roaming through your body, where once a bright raging fire lived inside a great man, gradually burning itself out only to leave the shouldering ashes in a vision before me. I looked into your big bright blue eyes set in a paper thin face so fragile ,I never wanted you to smile in case I cried and that would have made you sad. 

I searched endlessly inside your face that once bought me into this world for a sign that my dad still remembered the women that stood before him who still adored him..

That’s the beauty of a Father and Daughter relationships. 

Imagine, just for a moment, it’s a warm summer’s day. You start to relax and become very, very still. Just then, before you close your eyes, you notice the most beautiful golden butterfly, hovering and then it lands on the back of your hand.

It takes your breath away to the point and you dare not breathe. Look through the doors of the Alzheimer’s mind for moments to treasure and that will captivate you, if you watch closely enough. I watched you for what seemed ages, searching for the information that had always been so readily available to life’s questions, becoming further and further out of reach.

So, I kissed you again and told you I loved you dad, just to reassure you that I would do it all again, take care of you again but not if it meant you would have to go through it all again. That would not be fare and I am doing really good, my life on my own. I remind myself that, I only have to think of you and you are never very far away.

 I just wanted to say, thanks dad.