Dementia- It’s not black and white is it?

When you look after someone who is poorly and you care for them the result was” they recovered” right we interpret that experience as a job well done?

When you look after someone who has any form of dementia the reality is that they don’t get better, we are unable to fix them and we interprete the experience as if we have failed them in some way- they didn’t become better in fact they became worse and deteriorated to just a shadow of their former self.

To care for another successfully one must first take care of self

The whole experience has only one outcome and because each experience is unique, let’s face it “Dementia is not black or white” you will not be able to control how long that experience will last especially after all you have done for them. As a spouse you are the immediate care-giver and its affects will where you down to the point you will become more and more exhausted, snappy and a shadow of your former self.
With that in mind it is worth considering the following:

How do I care without losing my temper?
How do I stay well and avoid becoming isolated or alienated from people who are supposed to be my friends?
How do I accept help from those in the care system if I don’t want those people in my home?